Losing your face or the faith in it?

In Hırpıt, Yazarlar Klubü by Cumhur Dursun2 Comments

plastic-surgeryThe issue beauty is nothing new as we all know but how did it change? Beauty became a very interesting item in our society. I have the impression it got an importance that it didn’t have before. Plastic surgery is a lunch break decision and action. People go for Botox like others go for a sandwich and a coke.

What are we doing to ourselves? Whom are we trying to attract? Are we that scared of getting older? Is it the fear to die that leads us to lifting and Botox? It is an interesting development that had its origin in a life giving source. Plastic surgery was not invented for those that think their boobs should be the size of watermelons. I am not saying that plastic surgery is something bad. I am not trying to offend the ones that go for it. I just ask myself how come that we identify ourselves over our out look. How come that we minimize our self-esteem that far? Many people say that their self-confidence rose after their nose has been corrected, their cellulites were decreased and their breast was enlarged. Please tell me how come that you don’t change your behaviour, how come you don’t become a different person, how come you are the same person YOU were loved for before? Whom are we trying to impress?

I am pretty sure each and everyone heard or said the sentence: “Oh yes she is beautiful or he is handsome but she/he for sure is as dump as a piece of wood”. Is this our aim? What is more important to our society: beauty or intelligence? If it is intelligence, like most probably all of you said to yourselves, how come that we give beauty such a value?

There is a book that fascinated me, written by Jonathan Cole, which has nothing to do with my today’s issue but still it has. It is called: “About the face- Natural history of the face and the unnatural story of those that lost it.” A wonderful book telling stories about people that lost their faces in many different ways, it makes you understand what losing your face really means.

Plastic surgery was invented for people that lost their face or other body parts in accidents. It was meant to help those that lost theirs unexpectedly. Now it became THE business. You can change any body-part’s shape, size or consistence by liposuction, breast augmentation, lifting etc. Yes I would like to change many things about my body; yes there is no woman that will ever be happy about her looks unless she is looking at the pictures when she was young. Yes my hips could be smaller, my legs could be without cellulite and my chest could be the one of a 14 year old, they are not and so what? Yes most likely my self esteem would be higher but you know what I don’t need an artificial self esteem. My man loves me fat, skinny, lankily, with or without wrinkles, old and young.

I am not opposing plastic surgery I am just opposing the rationalisation, I am opposing the addiction to being young, the fear of getting old, the fear of dying. I am opposing the uniformity, I am opposing the faces like masks, I am opposing the hatred towards us and I am opposing the fact that we are putting beauty before everything else.

How come people are running away from death lying on operation table and giving our lives for the sake of beauty into somebody’s hands? How come we trust someone that might have an entirely different taste? How come that people that look like they have a rubber dinghy glued to their mouth do not automatically sue the surgeon? How come parents allow their children to go for plastic surgery before they turned 20? What is wrong with our society?

When I used to be in NYC and I went into a drugstore and the ladies working there told me: “try that make-up, everybody is wearing that one now”, I didn’t take it whether I liked it or not. It was never my aim to be like all the others. I WAS 18, what changed since then? I am not 285 years old! We all didn’t want to look like the others; we all wanted to be unique. We didn’t want to be simply beautiful; we wanted to be known for our character. Were have these basic values gone?



  1. tiborsua

    There is a German saying which goes kind of like this: beauty lies in the eyes of the spectator.
    I believe it holds a precious truth.
    Whether or not we experience something as beautiful or not depends very much on ourselves.
    On the values we have, the goals we want to meet, the needs we hold and even the mood we are in.

    Indeed many people nowadays get their self-esteem out of their appearance, either the physical appearance or the ‘social-appearance’.
    With social appearance I mean the status we are been given or claim – in the society (social surrounding) we are part of – or want or believe to be part of..
    I think what happens here is that a perverted concept of life takes over guidance of our emotions and actions.
    The error lies in how we fill the need of love that we humans have.
    And the error that is being made appears to me to be that we see this need as something that can only be filled from outside – an other person.
    So we try to make ourselves appear lovable in all different kind of ways.
    However we miss to see that this love from outside can never really fulfill us as long as it includes the whole of us, the essence of our being; but whom do we allow to really know who we really are?!?
    That is just one point however.
    The other-one is that the need of love we carry can and maybe should be filled by the love that WE carry!
    I am sure if we’d concentrate on the love WE feel more than on the love that we receive then self esteem would not be an issue in our lives nor would be beauty.
    Indeed if we’d concentrate on our love rather than on the love we get then life would turn into an exchange of free gifts and no longer be a hunt for fulfillment or a trade of status or beauty for acceptance and the cheap imitation of love.
    True love can only come into our (personal or global) world when we stop running after it and start becoming a channel for it.

  2. Hirpit

    Thank you very much for your comment!

    I like your point of view and I believe you are absolutely right. It for sure has something to do with love!

    I think if we are not able to start loving ourselves without a helping hand there might be some person out there that shows us how lovable we are. This person can guide us out of the jungle!


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